Struggle Deuces

Just sitting, waiting to be chastised
by everyone else that you know
the feeling is worse than the actual torture of being confronted
i wait, constantly .. waiting for the next confrontation
while constantly sinking like a stone in the sea
the thought is with me, almost unstoppable
sadness coats the house, the neighborhood
but why
because of the matter on the floor
the reality sets in as does the blood in the carpet
no one understands but the gun
she understands me, with her hot barrel still smoking
she understands exactly why i chose her, why i did i
and more important than all.. why today?

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